One aspect of The
Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao that has been troubling me is Oscar’s idea
of “love.” Today in class, many of my peers seemed to agree that Oscar seeks
love and is in love with Ybón at the end of the novel. In this post, I intend
to push back on that argument. Personally, I believe that Oscar is searching
for an intimate sexual relationship, because he believes he does not fit in to
the norms of the male Dominican Republic culture: “I have heard from a reliable
source that no Dominican male has ever died a virgin. You have experience in these matters—do you think it’s
true?” (174).In this quotation, Oscar does not mention any ties to love, all he
wants to do is lose his virginity, like other men in the Dominican Republic. Also,
Oscar attempts to “commit suicide,” because he is a virgin? Why is everything
linked to the sexual aspect instead of the love aspect? (if love is so
important in this text)
I
do think Oscar is a romantic, but he does not understand intimate love, because
he has never truly experienced it, due to his failing relationships. I think
Oscar cares for Ybón and he says he “loves” her, but honestly this could be
infatuation or lust (think about his stalker behavior):“Ybón actually kissed him. Guess what else? Ybón
actually fucked him! Praise be to Jesus!
He reported that he liked it, and that Ybón’s you-know-what hadn’t tasted the
way he expected” (334). Oscar’s letter focuses mainly on the details of the
sexual activities between him and Ybón. He mentions a little bit of “intimate”
information, but it doesn’t seem to compare in importance to the sexual details.
Personally, I think this relationship could have eventually been love, but as a
reader we will never know.
We sort of touched on this in class today. I think Oscar did love Ybon, because like someone said: he could have easily paid a woman to have sex with him if he wanted to lose his virginity. I do think that you ask a very good question though--why is everything linked to sex and not love? Maybe Oscar didn't know the difference, perhaps he thought that sex was something that should be done with he person he loved, and not just anyone--which is the opinion of many--maybe he linked sex and love too close together, if that make sense.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you totally Kristen! I think he knew lust (and who doesn't) and in my post I said I was sad he'll never know love. I think perhaps it could have been more IF Ybon would have agreed to come to the US, but then again would Oscar have been happy here with her...who knows? It's such a complicated character and situation that there are going to be more questions than answers I think!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Kristen and Leah. I think Oscar is so easily infatuated with women who show him attention that it seems like he "loves" them. I don't think it would fit Oscar's character if he had paid for sex, to me, that's just not who Oscar is.
ReplyDeleteIsn't the fact that there are more answers than questions true to life? Perhaps, too, one person's infatuation is another person's love. It is not always easy to know the difference. Are there any clear, fixed demarcations? I think, too, that sexual relations are linked to masculinity in DR culture in a way that they are not in ours. It is all a mystery to me.
ReplyDeleteI think that Oscar absolutely experienced love for many women, however, he never experienced a love where the feelings were reciprocated, which is quite a different! I don't know if Ybon truly loved Oscar back, but she definitely gave him more than any other woman had. Love is hard to define.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Paige. I feel that Oscar experienced love in the best way that he knew how. There are many people in the world who can't separate sex and love and there are some people who would argue it's impossible. While sex is very tied in to everything Oscar talks about I think it is very closely tied to love with him. If this text was only about Oscar loosing his virginity there are many, easier ways he could have done this.
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