Do you believe Beli?

I know we talked about it briefly in class on Wednesday, but I wanted to bring Beli back into the conversation for just a bit. My main concern is this: how believable is her transformation when she goes backt o visit La Inca? In class I was quick to tell myself that it did not really matter how different she was, as long as Lola was able to forgive her then so could I. Despite my earlier reaction I think it is important to remember how much she put La Inca, Oscar, and especially Lola through. Even after I learned her background story I found myself being disappointed in Beli because she was not a better mother to her children. As someone who came from an incredibly shitty background I expected more of her, wanted her to make a better future for her children than she had. Sure, she worked herself half to death trying to provide a living for Oscar and Lola, but money does not buy emotional support, nor does it replace maternal instinct. I believe Beli had to contend with this idea herself, especially at the end of her life. The text says, "She would live for another ten months, but by then she'd more or less given up. I did all I could...[she] Turned her ruined back to us." ( Diaz 323). The ruined back imagery is what makes me think that in her dying moments, Beli was focused on the thought that she did not save her children from experiencing the horror she felt in her childhood. I think she felt that she had failed Oscar when he died in the same cane-field she almost perished in. It is a sad ending, and it makes me want to forgive Beli, but there is still a part of me that resists her "change of heart."