I was thinking about the piece we read in class today, "Report on the Difference between Men and Women." I know a lot of you agreed that men were just air headed and semi simple minded, but after thinking about how I am I've come to the conclusion that, as a female, I also act as the husband in the story did. It took me 22 years to tell my mom that I liked different foods than what she usually made for me. It took me two years to tell someone I was in a relationship with that I preferred a different genre of video games than what she purchased for me. I just didn't see telling someone I wanted something different as important when I was already getting something that I considered good enough.
I was just curious if since the material was fresh and was focused on a man doing these things if you guys really think this is a gender thing? Or perhaps a female with the same personalty as the husband came to mind after the class? I considered it more of a personality thing. I know a fair handful of women that are similar to the husband, but to bring in the sexuality part of the course, most of those women are gay.
I would agree with you Danielle. I think there are certain qualites that are more commonly found with each gender, but ultimately, how someone acts comes down to that individuals unique personality.
ReplyDeleteI like that you said "I just didn't see telling someone I wanted something different as important when I was already getting something that I considered good enough." I could be interpreting wrong, but in other words, maybe because we have people in our lives that we care about so much, we fear hurting their feelings by telling them what we really want. We don't want to appear ungrateful for what we've been given. To answer your question, I think it boils down to personality. We talked about how men often forget anniversaries, or birthdays, and many might. However, in my parents' 23 years of marriage, there has not been one time I haven't seen an anniversary card from my dad to my mom.
ReplyDeleteI think that men aren't necessarily simple, they are just not as emotionally hard wired as women. We think about asking for lemonade instead of tea on a deep level. Will my mom think her tea sucks or will she wonder if I hate her tea? A man simply wants lemonade and asks for it. As far as dates, with my spouse it's my own fault. I have set the precedent that I know the dates, I will tell him and he expects that after years of having it done for him. He may remember on his own if forced to but he's not had to so consequently, he has no idea. I think that in most relationships, the roles are established early on and are based on personality. There is always the strong person and the pleaser and usually that is where the balance is found, however, the key in my opinion is that those are not static roles. It is the shift that finds the harmony over time...we have to be malleable, support each others strengths and weaknesses and at times, buy the darn lemonade.
ReplyDeleteI believe that although forgetfulness has become a stereotype for men, it is more of a personality thing than a gender. However, what I found most interesting about this reading was the stereotype for women that comes into play: that women jump to an extreme conclusion. Although the husband simply asks for lemonade, the wife begins to evaluate their life based on this request, wondering "what else he secretly wants." Maybe he just likes lemonade. I believe that this is a stereotype that has formed around women, maybe tracing back in history to where men were considered to be rational thinkers.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with you, I find my personality to be similar. My mom literally has asked me what I want from the grocery store every time she has went, for God only knows how long. However, every time I say "I don't know just get some snacks," and then complain about not having anything I like. I find that sometimes people just don't know exactly what they want, until it crosses their mind. When it comes to the husband in this story, I don't believe he has wanted lemonade for the past fourteen years. I feel as if the husband just had a craving that day, like many people do. To me the wife might have overthought the situation, like a lot of women do.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Paige's comment. I feel that if we care about someone, such as our family members or a significant other, then we make effort to avoid hurting their feelings. I know my mom makes a lot of food that I don't particularly care for, but I still eat it because I don't want to hurt her feelings. I think that it has to due with one's personality, not necessarily their gender.
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