It is clear that in writing Fun Home Alison Bechdel is trying to understand the odd
relationship she had with her father and other members of her family. Most
importantly, she was grappling with her father’s suicide and the events that
precipitated it. She explains: “My father’s death was a queer business—queer in
every sense of the multivalent word” (57). In other words, Bruce Bechdel’s death had
multiple meanings, as did his life. Does this also mean that there could be a
genetic predisposition for suicide in the family?
Bruce Bechdel’s repressed childhood memories resulted not
only in his own pathology, but also caused anxiety in the rest of the family,
resulting in multiple disorders. Bechdel reveals these oddities throughout her
book. For instance, she confides to her readers: “Though it verges on the
pathetic, I should point out that no one had kissed me good night in years”
(137). She had only herself and the stuffed animals in her room. Her family was
emotionally unavailable.
There are times when Alison gets close to her father, but
rarely, if ever, do they fully connect, despite the commonalities between them.
It is like a poor electrical connection that causes the lights to flicker on
and off. They never stay lit for long. The haunting images on the final pages
offer some closure, but even that is ambiguous. Bruce Bechdel is standing in
the pool, poised to catch his young daughter, who appears to be suspended in
time. But did he? In retrospect, it seems that Bruce did the best he could under
the circumstances, and possibly that is the best that Alison can hope for. And
that may be the extent of her catharsis. He was, after all, permanently damaged
by being molested as a child.
Fun Home leaves me
with a feeling that something irretrievable is missing from the author’s life.
The disturbing image of James Joyce’s family haunts page 231. I sense hope and
a hint of doubt in Bechdel’s words and drawings at the end of the book. I
suspect that she will be all right because she had the courage to embrace who
she really is in a public way. But can we really know? The final pages of Bechdel’s
life have yet to be written.
I felt the same way Charles and was left hoping someday she finds it. I went on her personal sites and all I found was a sad looking woman reliving a nightmare and looking for the next best thing. It saddened me.
ReplyDeleteI don't know whether I believe that there is a "genetic predisposition for suicide" in her family, I do however believe, that the dynamics of her family could have resulted in Alison facing similar emotional issues that her father suffered from. Obviously it's clear that Bruce denied a part of who he was and that resulted in a lot of self-hatred, an emotional issue that he may have inadvertently passed on to Alison. It's hard to love other's when you can't even love yourself; there were definitely damaging effects to not being kissed good night for years... I believe Alison's compulsions are a result of her not feeling loved as a child. She is constantly questioning herself in her journal and in her life. I believe that she struggles with self-worth issues similar to the ones her father faced. Over all I agree with you Charles, Alison embraces herself in a way her father never did and in her heart I think she knows that her father loved her, which helps her overcome the emotional trauma of her past. However, whether she writes it or not, the "I think" and self-doubt is still probably nagging around in the back of her mind.
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